In the first year of our marriage, we had a number of arguments that turned into full blown fights because we were simply tired. When a person is tired, they have less self control, are less tolerant, less understanding and have a shorter fuse. One US county reported that nearly 90% of domestic violence calls are received after 8pm at night. The implied links were with alcohol, stress, fatigue and tiredness.
So why do we try to resolve issues, debate, negotiate or argue when we are tired? Many arguments would be avoided or scaled back if families were to implement the 10pm rule.
The 10pm rule says, “Any person can call a timeout on a conversation after 10pm for it to resume at a more competent hour.”
If you tend to argue or disagree late at night, press the pause button and postpone the discussion till the next day. Very few things are so urgent that you need to resolve it tonight. A wise person will say, “I’m calling in the 10pm rule because I’m down on energy and this is getting me worked up. Can we continue tomorrow? I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.” You’ll have more energy, more self-control and be in a better head space to hear and understand one another. That’s a win for everyone.
Have you got any helpful rules you’ve created in your family relationships? Share below…
