Our team work with thousands of teenagers every year. Fads and trends come and go, from Pokemon Go to the all-conquering Snapchat – and Fortnite is as big as they come. So should we be worried about Fortnite? Is it violent and harmful? How do we bring boundaries and health to the participation in the world’s biggest online game? Christian Gallen from The Parenting Place has some great insights.
What even is Fortnite?
Fortnite: Battle Royale is an online shooting game. Your player starts in a map of up to 100 players and you collect weapons and build forts, all whilst trying to eliminate the other players. The aim is to be the last player standing.
In Australia you usually get connected to other Australian players and you can play solo or in teams with random players and friends. Most games last 20 minutes max – if you are the last one standing, which your kid probably isn’t, most of the time. The brightly coloured cartoon graphics, funny celebration dances and lack of blood, guts and gore can make it appear like it is appropriate for of all ages.
Why is Fortnite so crazy popular right now?
Three reasons.
- It’s free! That gives access to everyone, especially if you’re at the age where you don’t have any money.
- It’s available on lots of gaming platforms. Playstation, Xbox, PC, iPad and probably even those really fancy calculators.
- Everyone plays it! School students, adults and lots of celebrities and athletes are talking about it. Some Fortnite players are becoming famous and making millions from broadcasting their games online. So chances are, if your child doesn’t play it yet, they really want to (particularly boys).
What your kid wants you to know about Fortnite
1. You can’t pause an online game
This is very important for parents to understand especially when setting time limits on games. If you’re playing in a team, you can’t just leave the game at any time because you’re letting down your whole squad.
2. It’s actually social
From the outside, it doesn’t look very social when a kid is sitting in front of a screen inside when they could be out with their friends having ‘real fun’. We need to rethink the stereotype of the “socially-isolated video game nerd” because online gaming can be very social. In Fortnite you can connect with others and together you are learning skills in leadership, teamwork, and problem-solving.
3. I need you to give me lots of warning of when I need to stop playing
If you want a better chance of avoiding the whinging reaction when you ask your child to stop playing a video game, then give them plenty of warning. Instead of giving them traditional time limits, you could give them a limit of how many ‘rounds of Fortnite’ they can play.
Just for reference, five rounds will take about an hour if they win every round. But they probably won’t, so some rounds are shorter. Keep checking in on them and asking how many rounds they have left. You’re actually doing them a favour because then they can tell their online friends that they only commit to two more games without letting their team down.
What they don’t want you to know about Fortnite
1. I don’t actually need to make those in-game purchases
It’s a free game. Free to download and free to play. But there are in-game purchases that cost real money. You can upgrade your player with a unicorn-head-pick-axe or the latest victory dance or any new costume for their character.
Some kids might try to convince you that they ‘need’ to make these purchases. Nah, they don’t. It just makes their character look cool. But what you need to understand is that the social pressure for kids to fit in is just as real online as it is at school. If they have a standard default character, they might feel outcast or even get mocked by their peers. Point out that some people are cool with that – even Ninja (the online gaming celebrity) started out with a standard character.
As with real-world spending, in-App purchases can also be teaching tools for how to use or budget money. It could be seen as a pocket-money incentive or a do-your-chores reward.
2. It can be addictive
The word “addictive” gets applied to a lot of things that perhaps are an “overindulgence“. Don’t panic if your child’s video gaming comes at the expense of doing chores or homework. Kids have been avoiding these things for centuries and it may not be addiction. However, you can have too much of any good thing. Fortnite is designed as an enjoyable game that can be quite addictive (in the sense of always wanting more). It’s rare to “have enough” and the challenge makes you want to play one more round. If you are concerned about how much they play, then maybe you could approach it as a we would with any healthy boundary: Have a conversation asking them how much time they think is healthy; agree together and follow through on the agreement; limit use and offer alternatives. One parent told me that, “we limit use to the weekends. And we asked him how long he thinks he should play for. An hour? Great. We can agree to that. He feels like he had a voice in the decision, and we see some positives to his game play.”
Most kids spend time at home doing pretty ‘boring stuff’ like those chores and homework. Then when they play video games, they’re engaged in a stimulating game that is tapping into their brain’s reward pathways, flooding them with hormones that feel fantastic. Compared to other things they do at home, it’s easy to understand why gaming is so appealing. There’s no amazing burst of reward chemicals being released in the brain when you finish doing the dishes.
Strategically, it’s best for them to do all the ‘boring stuff’ before playing games. When they ask if they can play Fortnite, you could say, “Yes, but after you’ve walked the dog or done your homework”. This teaches them about delayed gratification.
The alternative to playing video games might not be as stimulating but it doesn’t have to be something they find horribly boring either. What if instead of playing video games they joined you grocery shopping or you took them to the skatepark or you made pancakes together? The more you engage together, the more they learn by osmosis.
3. Having a balanced life
When your child is playing video games, they could be doing other stuff. They could be practising a sport, creating music or just hanging out with their family. They have more spare time when they are young than any other time in their lives until they retire. Spending most of that time behind a screen isn’t the best for their healthy development – or your home internet plan.
Video games like Fortnite can be a bit of fun, they can be social and they keep your kid inside the house where you know they are safe. But they are a poor substitute for real experiences. If you are going to place more restrictions and boundaries on technology in your home, then think about loosening the boundaries in other areas of their world. It might help the conversation if you let them know that even though you are limiting their Fortnite time, that you will be letting them stay up later or go to a friend’s house or bus to the mall.
Stay involved
The best thing you can do is to play with your kids. By doing it together, you connect, encourage and notice some skills that you otherwise wouldn’t see. You’ll realise that these games are actually developing some of those strategy skills, problem solving and coordination. But if you don’t like games or can’t squeeze the time, show an interest by asking your child about Fortnite and what they like about it. Watch them play it. You might be able to connect around something they are passionate about. Young people need their parents to remain involved right throughout the teenage years. This just might be your way in to a great conversation.
Some thoughts and points borrowed from Christian Gallen, whose article can be found here .
