One simple way to get your marriage back on track

Most guys want a good marriage but don’t know how to get there. During counselling sessions, I’ve asked couples to take this one simple step to improve their marriage and in almost every situation, it has made a remarkable difference. But before I put it out there, there’s one catch: You actually have to do it for more than 4 weeks in a row. Why? Plenty of people try once and then say it didn’t work. Bull. You just stopped trying. So here it is:

The weekly date.

Whether it’s a date night, a date lunch or breakfast, pick one slot in the week of at least 2 hrs, and make it a date. Haven’t got time for it? Well you should go marry your job, your hobby or your house because if you can’t invest 2hrs a week into your loved one, then you love all the other stuff more. When a man initiates the weekly date with his partner, it tells her that she is a priority to him, that she is valued and is worth his full attention. He is telling her that she is important and that the relationship is worth the time.

Graham is a business owner who initially rejected the idea because he didn’t have enough time. He literally works 7 days a week, has two kids, a mortgage, employees and a house renovation on the go. These things take his attention and his marriage is suffering. During our first counselling session, his wife made the protest, “Your words say that you love me but I feel like I’m at the bottom of your priority list. Everything else gets your time, energy and attention. Surely you can give me an hour of your presence each week!” That convicted him and he took action. Their first date was a lunch at the old club where they first met and used to play snooker. They enjoyed lunch and a beer, and even shot some snooker balls for half an hour of laughter and fun. Time flew and suddenly it was back to the office after a successful date. The next week, he was looking forward to Thursday and they went back again. The third week, she suggested a motorbike ride into the National Park. They packed a sandwich, dusted off the bike and they were suddenly connecting again. During the third counseling session they had with me, she said it was the first time in 10yrs that she has felt like she was a priority to him. Months later, the commitment was just as strong and it has played a huge part in healing their marriage.

Do you have a weekly date? How does it work for you? Make comments via the FB or Twitter links.