Dean’s Mum called me saying that he had used the “S” word… “SUICIDE”. He wasn’t in a good place. “Can I bring him into your counselling practice?” Mum walked in first, followed by a 16 year old Dean who wouldn’t look up, and was noticeably down.
“I hate myself. I’m not good at anything, the other guys call me ‘nerd’, and I asked a girl out and she just laughed. I try to be funny, but instead of laughing with me, they put crap on me and laugh at me. I just want to end it all.”
Dean wouldn’t talk further.
He wouldn’t look at me.
Eyes down.
Silent.
All of my techniques and CBT and therapy models wouldn’t get him to budge. So I tried something out of the box…
“Would you do a strength finder assessment? What if we just do a little quiz that finds out what your Top 5 strengths are?”
Fine. But it’ll turn out zero.
As Dean finished his strengths assessment, he got his 5 results: Strategic; Analytical; Observant; Investigator; Thinker. 
“Strategic? Sounds stupid. What’s that supposed to mean?” And so we started reading that strategic people are good at hitting goals – they figure out what they need to do or avoid in order to reach their target. They make plans, have ideas on what could work…….
“Hey! Maybe this is actually me…” He looks up at me, thoughtfully.
“So, I play Warcraft and I recently I won my way into a gaming team. One dude was in the US, another in Croatia, more in the UK. I was the newest and youngest to the team, but I instantly knew what we had to do. You! Go on defence. We need these weapons. Let’s go through that warp. I know what we need to do… And do you know what, Dan? They followed what I said and we won! Hmm, maybe that is my ‘Strategic’ strength.”
Change is possible:
It was the first time he looked up at me. There was energy in his eyes. This depressed boy was waking up. He went on to tell me that he works at Maccas and is saving toward an apartment for when he finishes school. He’d already saved $14k – are you kidding! The kid had more money than me!!
We went on to talk about his “analytical” strength, and how he notices the details of things and nothing gets past him; he is super observant; is the dux of Science… He’s actually an amazing young man!
I’m telling the truth, after 40 mins, we walked into the waiting room where Mum was, and he said with confidence, “Mum, I’ve got the ‘Strategic’ strength! That’s why I love Warcraft so much and why I like to save. It’s cool, check this out…” and he waves his Top 5 strength cards like a fan in his hand.
Mum looks at me, like, “What the? What happened in there?”
But it was real.
The real thing:
A week later, I get an email from Mum saying, “Seriously Dan, something has changed. Dean is talking to me about his strengths, has a new way of seeing himself, and is just different!”
That’s why we created MyStrengths. The MyStrengths Assessment is a diagnostic tool for anyone to be able to discover their Top 5 strengths. Our dream is for counsellors, coaches, teachers, parents and more to use MyStrengths as a way to help people discover the amazing parts of their personality.
Can you imagine if every young person in Australia was to discover their own uniqueness, beauty and strengths!??
Can you imagine if they had different labels to call themselves, ones that were positive, insightful and true?
What would change in our society if young people liked themselves, were confident in their own skin, and celebrated the diversity of one another?
We want to create a movement.
This is MyStrengths.
www.mystrengths.com.au
