We spend so much of our time, energy and effort in areas that are just not “us”. AND we often neglect the very things we were naturally born to do!
Guest blogger and Strengths Coach, Russ Murphy, helps us understand our excessive focus on weakness and how we are better off identifying and maximising our strengths.
[Russ] If you ask a random selection of people to write down 10 of their talents, gifts or strengths, most people seem to struggle. But if you ask that same group to list 10 flaws or weaknesses, most people have no trouble at all.
We can easily describe our flaws and our weaknesses, but not the things we’re great at. Every culture in the world that has been studied has been found to focus on weaknesses over and above strengths. Gallup found that 77% percent of parents surveyed in the US said that they focus more on the school subjects that their children are failing than in the subjects they excel. How many people attend tutoring for Math because it’s a weakness, compared to piano lessons where they excel? Or are forced into a public speaking class but neglect the extra computer class because we’re already good at that?! From a young age, we are programmed to fix our weaknesses rather than maximise our strengths.
When it comes to our jobs, families, and even our recreational pursuits, most of us spend way too much time in areas of weakness rather than strength. No wonder we have more medication for psychological illness than any other generation in history; we spend all our time focused on our flaws! And yet, when we are working and operating in our areas of strength and passion, our productivity drastically increases, joy levels rise, and our sense of satisfaction is at it’s highest. So how would we start to find our strengths?
Actually identify and name your strengths:
Gallup’s “Strength Finder” diagnostics test and coaching has literally helped millions of people identify and maximise their own God-given strengths. We all have strengths, but few can actually name them, work with them or know how to build on them. The Strengths-Finder test is the best tool to help (and Dan will soon offer this as a service), but here are some questions to ask to start you thinking about your own strengths:
- What are you are great at? Name it. Write it down.
- What have you been recognized for doing well?
- What gives you energy and makes you feel alive when you do it?
- What do you do naturally, that others don’t seem to understand?
As you answer these questions, you’ll start to identify the areas to focus and expand upon. If we spent more time maximising our strengths and less time trying to fix our weaknesses, we would be so much more productive, content and motivated in our work and play.
Uncover your passions:
Uncovering your passions means discovering what you really care about. There is a subtle difference between good ideas and things that we’re passionate about. I might think that customer service is important, but if I don’t care about it, I’ll only provide it when it suits me. On days when it doesn’t suit, it’ll take a back seat to whatever I’m feeling. However, I am deeply passionate about coffee. I won’t tolerate a badly made coffee, and I’ll recommend great baristas to all my friends because I’m passionate about it – no matter what mood I’m in! Have you spent time clarifying what you’re passionate about? Try these questions:
- What do you really care about?
- What do you find frustrating?
- What do you find motivates you?
Don’t let flaws stop you:
You should be aware of your flaws, insecurities and short-comings; it helps us learn what we need help with. But if these are left unchecked, they can paralyze us, hinder us and even depress us. Self-awareness means we will face up to flaws or insecurities and get the help needed to move forward. Find someone to help you with public speaking; outsource marketing to a firm that specializes in it; get financial advice if you can’t balance the budget. Whatever you do, don’t let your flaws paralyze you; get proactive and deal with whatever is troubling you. The short term pain is always better that the long term tragedy of living a life that has been frozen by your weaknesses.
- What do need help with?
- Who do you know that is strong where you are weak?
- How could begin to deal with one of your short-comings this next week?
Guest blogger, Russ Murphy, is a Gallup Institute certified Strengths Coach. I, Dan, have been training with Gallup’s strengths-based coaching and will be launching this service for you soon.
